Posts (page 2)

One of my oversights from last year was not including The Dead Kennedys on the 31 Days of Rocktober calendar. I won't make that same mistake this year, I can promise you that. What gravitates to me a band like the Kennedys is their endless, satirical outlook on society. Take, for instance, the hippy-dippy campaign of Jerry Brown whose ultra-left wing initiatives didn't exactly sit well with Jello. Today's selection pokes fun at the majority of gentlemen in my high school years who could drink a half-case of beer, and boast 10 times during the night about their motor skills being unaffected. Unfortunately, that's a losing battle in other, more important facets of life.

Considering it's still October 24th in the: Central, Mountain, and Pacific time zones, I'm just getting this Rocktober post in on time. Back in the late 80s, one of my good friends coerced me to join the town pee-wee football team after many failed attempts in the past. And I played for 3 years before coming to the conclusion that football can only be played the athletically gifted, which naturally, didn't include me. I do recall my good friend requesting our entrance onto the field be accompanied by a certain rock-tastic song, that had to do with a jungle. At the time, I failed to make the connection since our team nickname was the Bulldogs. Were we gonna hunt down lions or tigers?

The skies are raining dogs outside on this miserable night in the mid-atlantic, leaving me to consume lots of Flying Fish within these four walls.

FlyingFish_oktoberfish

Is there a way we can alter science? Y'know, make every day 26 hours, which would inevitably lead to sunset criss-crossing with sunrise. There's still dinner to tend to, Game 5 of the NLCS, and a pretty important phone call on the way.

03 - Mr. Suit

Wire

Those skateboarding artsy-fartsy kids in high school were onto something when I was in high school. Smoke a cigarette at the church across the street in the morning, go to class for 2/3 of the day. Then back to the church for a post-school smoke. Each and every one of them wore their Smashing Pumpkins shirts, too, while worshiping at the altar of Billy Corgan. Now it's most likely true nobody every wants to know him socially. I know I don't. But over the years, I've grown to respect the niche that the Pumpkins carved for themselves. *insert pun here*. When teenage suicide was at an all-time high, Corgan saw the dollar signs.

Back to the story at hand, I didn't have documentation to inoculate me against the aardvark flu. Naturally, you can tell the swine flu is at work in my brain. Also didn't have documentation with my consent for the trial vaccine against orangutan meningitis. How could I forget about those two vital vaccinations? Oooh right. Because anybody upon anybody who's met me knows I'm the most forgetful person on Earth.

The orderlies strapped those unfortunate persons, including me, who didn't provide all notarized documentation down to the stretchers and told us they'd let us pass once the necessary paperwork was faxed to their remote island. Somehow I didn't see that being in the next 20 minutes. We did receive lovely injections of morphine and sedatives to keep us from thrashing. There's a silver lining for everything.

Night time slowly meandered in and I was out like a light switch. In the morning, I begged the staff I wanted off the island and returned to mainland. "Sorry, sir. But The Men in Charge deemed this is a mandatory exercise to improve production. Do you have something against that?"

"Not at all," I said. "But I can think of better locations for work retreats than the darkest jungles of *Choose Your Island*. Not to mention, I'm gonna catch hell from my wife for this. Last thing she wants to hear is a requirement to take 3 planes & a ferry just to drop off the papers I left on the coffee table."

12 - CATCH HELL BLUES - THE WHITE STRIPES

THE WHITE STRIPES

2 comments

A beautiful mix of heavy rain and a temperature of 41 degrees can only mean one thing: my automobile is very much relieved to have a day off from work. Save for a quick trip to the supermarket plus Barnes & Noble, the black knight spent the whole day between the same two white lines.